it's all a function of eating and digestion. sometimes youve eaten so much -- basically you were greedy -- your stomach goes for a toss and you feel queasy and tell your body that all you need is a big fart. your condition maybe is really tight and you are tipping over and you could really use that fart no matter what. and then you get that big fart. instant relief its promise. you feel light and free. there is like space created inside you, like all your organs pressed up against walls had space to breathe again. like one fart had resulted in relief for one and all and the magnitude of that joy was more than the sum of its parts. but its embarrassing. folks are embarrassed generally about farting. it is better kept on the downlow i agreee. it's not pleasant, not polite, creates bad faith and oh the stinks, let's not even go there. the impending fart takes control over you, it can make you shift, walk off, stop talking, check our peeing force and also disperse or distract the wisest of councils. but farts are needed. the big farts, and our constitution is primed for a good long one and smelly one right now.
it would of course be one thing if the big farts were the only thing. i mean if we only had the big farts then we could actually establish social conventions of publicly discharging them because they are after all a life saver. like farts neednt have been that uncomfortable thing; but you know that there is the minor flatulence that is the irritant. it is the one which, with its frequency of iteration, really comes to pose the constant irritant in social transactions. one could fart once or twice a day and that is okay. but there are folks doing it all the time. it is in fact about the minor flatulence that the great abraham lincoln wanted to say that some people have minor flatulence all the time, some people have minor flatulence some of the time, but there's no people that do not have minor flatulence none of the time. since there is the big fart and the rest is all minor flatulence, there is here among these farts not so much as a hierarchy as a constellation where the big fart of the day, or the week, or the hour, you know, is like the centrepiece round which there are so many farts that revolve, their creation and essence dictated perforce by the big fart of whatever period.
when i was young a relative i know had this technique, which i have seen and heard of elsewhere too, of patting/slapping the tummy lightly on its surface to tease farts out of the system. now i think he had a flatulence problem. but why did he not see a doctor? was this obnoxious technique all he had to deal with a bad stomach? it's not normal. perhaps. because i also kind of see his point, if he has one that is, in not seeing a doctor but just casually patting his way through this whole gas problem. because as i think of it i can't imagine that there are people in this world without farts and then it follows that since all diets that are known to mankind exist on earth, whatever is eaten out of that great cookbook is liable to make you pass wind, or break it, as they used to say in the olden, more polite, times. yes then why should we blame the farts, it is us that eats whatever it is our fate to eat and to know that whatever we eat can and will make us fart, and of course we dont do anything about the farts, because to properly deal with them, individually and collectively, would require major lifestyle changes and that is just too much to even think leave alone tighten your belts to get down to do. so we just get through life and society and government and politics one big fart and many small farts at a time. sounds cynical i know, but my hope here is in our constitution again that when the shock is too great to the digestive system and the body, all the organs will combine to deal with the really bad fart without endangering or witch-hunting the good honest fart, the one that inspires the truly satisfactory and adequate feeling. and so may we always try to be, and remain, individuals and societies and people who are tolerant of farts but wont let farts dictate terms to them.
it would of course be one thing if the big farts were the only thing. i mean if we only had the big farts then we could actually establish social conventions of publicly discharging them because they are after all a life saver. like farts neednt have been that uncomfortable thing; but you know that there is the minor flatulence that is the irritant. it is the one which, with its frequency of iteration, really comes to pose the constant irritant in social transactions. one could fart once or twice a day and that is okay. but there are folks doing it all the time. it is in fact about the minor flatulence that the great abraham lincoln wanted to say that some people have minor flatulence all the time, some people have minor flatulence some of the time, but there's no people that do not have minor flatulence none of the time. since there is the big fart and the rest is all minor flatulence, there is here among these farts not so much as a hierarchy as a constellation where the big fart of the day, or the week, or the hour, you know, is like the centrepiece round which there are so many farts that revolve, their creation and essence dictated perforce by the big fart of whatever period.
when i was young a relative i know had this technique, which i have seen and heard of elsewhere too, of patting/slapping the tummy lightly on its surface to tease farts out of the system. now i think he had a flatulence problem. but why did he not see a doctor? was this obnoxious technique all he had to deal with a bad stomach? it's not normal. perhaps. because i also kind of see his point, if he has one that is, in not seeing a doctor but just casually patting his way through this whole gas problem. because as i think of it i can't imagine that there are people in this world without farts and then it follows that since all diets that are known to mankind exist on earth, whatever is eaten out of that great cookbook is liable to make you pass wind, or break it, as they used to say in the olden, more polite, times. yes then why should we blame the farts, it is us that eats whatever it is our fate to eat and to know that whatever we eat can and will make us fart, and of course we dont do anything about the farts, because to properly deal with them, individually and collectively, would require major lifestyle changes and that is just too much to even think leave alone tighten your belts to get down to do. so we just get through life and society and government and politics one big fart and many small farts at a time. sounds cynical i know, but my hope here is in our constitution again that when the shock is too great to the digestive system and the body, all the organs will combine to deal with the really bad fart without endangering or witch-hunting the good honest fart, the one that inspires the truly satisfactory and adequate feeling. and so may we always try to be, and remain, individuals and societies and people who are tolerant of farts but wont let farts dictate terms to them.
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